Short fused neon lights

The neon signs attract the customers and like the moth we’re drawn. The local hipster video store is packed. Apparently renting a movie on a snowy night isn’t such the original idea I thought it was. I attempt to take my usual lap around the 3-tier store, but mainly, I  stick with the main section. See, upstairs is VHS, because apparently there’s a market for that. And downstairs is the “adult” section, because, well, there’s a market for that too.

But damn those out-dated horny-toads, I’m here for the latest releases, both blockbuster and offbeat.

Sadly I cannot escape the people. The new locals of my neighborhood are ruining my local video store. They bring in baby carriages, because “Hey wouldn’t it be so progressive of us, while unmarried, to raise our little unplanned offspring in our $300,000 duplex among the drunks and drug addicts in the heart of downtown?”

I am disgusted.

I see the couples unknowing navigate the store eyeing various movies, but it’s their selections that further prove the 2nd quickest way to destroy a relationship is to try and find one movie both will like. The first being trying to teach that significant other a sport or to play cards.

A slow smile slips across my face. They’ll be breaking up soon, because what a self-righteous bitch to dis the plight that is John Rambo, and only an inconsiderate dog wouldn’t want to view the powerful portrayal of, Wit, a woman that faces terminal ovarian cancer.

I am further disgusted.

“Do you have the one movie that star that one guy? It came out last year,” they inquire.

Are you kidding me lady!  Get from in front of me and let me make my way.  UGH! Don’t these people know I am depressed and need immediate laughter in my life?

As I wait in line I can’t help but wonder why is it that to this day a video store guy, any video store guy, somewhere in the world, hasn’t just snapped and murdered the whole lot of customers in the store. A jury of his peers will acquit him in no time flat.

And why is it I’m directly behind the person with way too many movies and no actual membership. Yes, jerk we all have to fill out memberships, did you maybe think that you should have began filling out the form when you came inside?

After waiting and waiting I try and not to display the ultimate disgust at the tip VHS case fueling my rising rage. I have to keep it together, because I still have to go get my pre-ordered pizza.

Published in: on 10/28/2009 at 15:12  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Ha! Welcome to the blog-o-sphere.

    • Thanks for poppin my cherry!

  2. Kudos! I long for more!!!

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