Wrong Squared

The old adage of ‘One Good Turn Deserves Another’ pretty much means: someone does you a favor, you should do a favor for that person in return and also holds true in the world of dating.

How? Well, let me explain.

I met a young boy a few months ago. After the first quick meeting at a fast food spot and after a few tacky text messages, I thought it best to nip this it in the bud. Cute can only get you so far. It was going nowhere, and that’s OK. We had no dates and no real conversations so nothing to lose but his poorly worded sexually suggestive text messages and plentiful exclamation marks.  (u fo’sho sexy, yo!!!)

After weeks of no contact I forgot about Sir Wordsmith and figure it was over. Whew, that was painless, I thought. Well, at least I thought.

A few days ago I get a picture on my phone. It’s of a penis. And what I could only assume was his penis. And his attempt of an erect penis at that. I let this go for a day or so, when another text arrives, “yo whut u doin? git my pic?”

I say, “Um, yeah. Not my thing. I’m on a lunch date and I think its best we stop talking and texting, sorry.” And yes I write full sentences on texts, stop hatin’.

And for my pleasantries, what do I get?

“If you’re still dating at your age, maybe you should get a dog. Sorry.”

Was I mad, no. I was so proud! A text, full of commas and periods; it was an actual sentence. At least he learned something from the GED, he no doubt used to get that part-time job, which has rewarded him in some way!

But I have to admit, I was stunned and not by the lack of the respect and penis size. Is there a zoom on this camera-phone? But since when did a woman of, er, um…30-something mean spinster and warranted a dog? He couldn’t even get the cliched old lady with cats thing correct.

But I now understood why he was so immature; “he has yet to learn respect and has a small penis. Double whammy.” Which was the last text I sent.

Two wrongs may not make it right, but it makes it even.

Published in: on 11/06/2009 at 01:34  Comments (9)  
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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I ❤ your blog. I hope you meet a decent dude, but not before I get some more killer war stories…

    • Don’t worry, I’ve got war stories and some PTSD stories. HA! So keep reading.

  2. You need to get yourself a Latin lover…trust me on this.

    • As an equal opportunity dater I’ve got war stories that span the races.

  3. Wow! Now I understand why he’s still single! I agree with Melinda…you need to have a Latin lover once in your life just to have that wonderful experience!

    • OK, OK…are the hot Latin lovers on a shelf somewhere? Where can I find one?

  4. Indeed, I hope 30 does not mean spinster, or whatever the male equivalent is.

    What is meant by “small”?

    • 30 isn’t. He’s a dork. and we all have our own measuring, um..stick and know what small means to each of us. But between you and me…pack of Rolaids.

  5. “he has yet to learn respect and has a small penis” ROFLMAO!

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